When someone asks me what my favorite Bible verse is, my immediate thought is: “Just one?” There are too many. Some verses get me through tough days, others remind me to celebrate, and some call me out when I need it. But after giving it some careful thought, I always go back to Proverbs 31. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”
Now, before you roll your eyes and think this is about to be some Pinterest-level, inspirational-mug kind of thing, hear me out. The Proverbs 31 woman gets a lot of mixed reactions. Some people see her as the ultimate standard of godly womanhood. Others feel like she’s an impossible-to-reach, unrealistic ideal that makes them want to throw their Bibles across the room. And honestly? I get both reactions.
Because quite frankly—she’s exhausting. She’s up before dawn, she’s running a business, she’s making sure her house is in order, she’s helping the poor, she’s well-dressed, and somehow, her husband is just chilling at the city gates, bragging about how awesome she is. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to get through the day without burning dinner and remembering where we left our phone.
But despite how unattainable she seems, I still go back to her. Not because I think I’ll ever be her 24/7, but because she represents something worth striving for. She’s strong. She’s disciplined. She respects her husband—even when she probably thinks he’s making a questionable decision (which, let’s be honest, happens). She has this level of submission that isn’t about weakness but about trust.
Submission is a word that makes a lot of modern women cringe. It sounds outdated. It sounds like giving up control. And in some cases, it’s been twisted into something oppressive. But real submission—the kind the Proverbs 31 woman shows—isn’t about being a doormat. It’s about knowing your strength and choosing when to use it. It’s about respecting your husband enough to let him lead, even when you’re pretty sure he’s about to make a mess of things. It’s about being wise enough to guide without nagging, and firm enough to stand your ground when it really matters.
Most of all, it’s about trust. And that’s the part that trips people up.
Because if you don’t trust your partner to make good decisions, submission feels impossible. And honestly, a lot of people are in relationships where that trust has been broken. They’ve seen men make selfish, foolish choices. They’ve seen women forced into submission rather than choosing it out of love and faith. They’ve seen the Proverbs 31 woman held up as a weapon instead of an example.
But what it really is about is, about a woman who is fully capable of running her own life but chooses to be in a partnership where she and her husband compliment each other. He trusts her judgment. She trusts his leadership. And together, they build something strong.
Now, let’s be clear—I am not out here making wool and flax by hand, knitting and living off the land. My idea of “bringing food from afar” is placing an Instacart order. I am not waking up before dawn to “provide portions for my female servants.” I don’t even have servants. But I do show up. 5 a.m. most mornings starting work because our business never sleeps and it is our livelyhood. It is what provides for our family. I also show up for my partner, for our collective children, and for the people who count on me. Some days I do it well. Some days, not so much. But that’s the beauty of Proverbs 31—it’s a guide, not a grading system. Thank God because if it was- I would need to be graded on a curve!
It also reminds me that strength and femininity are not opposites. Being a Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t mean giving up your independence or your identity. It means knowing when to push and when to yield. It means recognizing that wisdom sometimes looks like standing back and letting things unfold. It means doing what needs to be done without needing a round of applause for it.
So, do I live up to the Proverbs 31 standard every day? Not even close. But I keep trying. And maybe that’s the point.
For clarity- these are the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman:
Significance of the Proverbs 31 woman-The Proverbs 31 woman is an example of a woman who adds value to her home and community. Her example is placed at the end of Proverbs.